20 October 2009

A Wolf at the Table

Augusten Burroughs is absolutely without a doubt one of my most favorite authors. His books are so full of emotion and dept, incredible energy, spot on imagery, and a pinch of humor in all the right places. A Wolf at the Table is all of those things and much much more.

In Running with Scissors we only get a small glimpse into Augusten's early childhood. Well this time around we get a much clearer view, and more specifically a look into the relationship he carries on with his father into his adult life. An innocent child craving the attentions of a distance and plausibly sociopathic father.

Every page is highly emotional, and the end of each chapter leaves you longing to start the next. Whether you're chuckling at the precious precociousness of a young Augusten's imagination, or seething with anger towards both of this innocent boys parents you will love the intensity of the story. An easy read at 242 pages makes this book a must have/rent/borrow from a friend AND you get a special sneak peek at Burroughs' next book: You Better Not Cry, a collection of Christmas stories. Wicked.

Other books by this author include:

Running with Scissors
Dry
Magical Thinking
Sell-e-vision
Possible Side Effects

16 October 2009

Impact

A string of completely unrelated images that have somehow created in my mind some kind of reaction that is loosely associated with beauty.


*Owls, body paint, fans, the color green.

Makes me think of a room with white washed walls that is not particularly large but drenched in early afternoon sunlight. A cool breeze causes the lacy white curtains to billow away from the large open windows while you lay in the middle of the wooden floor reading a book or writing in your journal, the hazy transparent steam from a cup of rosehip tea curling lazily skyward.


*Burnt orange fluff, big black eyes, fuzzy antenna.

Makes me think about how strange nature can be. Who would have thought that a moth of all things could have such an adorable face? If moths were giant insects would people domesticate them and keep them as pets like a dog or a hamster? Imagine for a moment taking your pet moth for a walk on a leash. Or would you call it a fly?


*Computer components, white eye-lashes, the color pink.

Makes me think of a sterile experimentation room complete with clean white tiled walls and stainless steel surgical tools. The technology of tomorrow integrating itself into our everyday without us even realizing. To think that the future is bestowed first upon our earthly animal counterparts before it even touches human flesh. Are we becoming more machine than man?


*Clean white porcelain, the deeply visceral reaction to seeing blood.

Makes me think about how much a little blood can changed the meaning of something so completely. A precious porcelain tea set drenched in morbid blood splatter suddenly makes even the most ordinary of scenes dark and exciting.


*The prowling of a skeletal mechanical feline, the loud clacking of an old typewriter.

Makes me think about the acts of destruction and creativity. We are capable of so much good and so many varying degrees of evil but perhaps we should look at it in terms of positive and negative. In this case an outdated typewriter is destroyed so that an incredible work of art can be created from its discarded components.

07 October 2009

03 September 2009

So Much Win


Introducing to you some of the strangest things you cannot un-see. This is the sweet wine of life, the gold standard for all mankind.


This is So Much Win.


_______________________________________________

First up we have a bunch of silly skanks posing in front of a mirror. What's that you say? There's nothing unusual about four 15 year old girls posing in their underwear in front of a mirror so they can post it on the inter-web for all of those horny older men to see? Well ... no I suppose not. >_> But what's that ... that thing in the door way there?

Could it be a real life picture of a Sasquatch in its natural habitat? Oh, never mind, it's only the fat girl no one likes wearing completely unsuitable outerwear and lurking in dark corners again. No need to call animal control ... unless she seizes the twinkies again.

so much win...
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Girls, your purse is your sidekick and everyone knows that any good super hero is only as impressive as their sidekick. So why the vagina bag? I mean you put this atrocity on your shoulder and you're kind of asking for it. And by it I mean failure. It even looks cheap.

The one plus?
When you're not in the mood for sex (assuming you even have a boyfriend because you're probably pathetic) he can always just fuck your bag.

...so much win.
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Ah, girls and their breasts... It's a love hate relationship isn't it girls. The boys never notice your face because they're too busy staring at your tits most of the time. But how can you blame them when you're slinging them around like disgusting little sluts!?

So much win.
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You better werq ... eat that glittery shoe Beth Ditto. While you're at it you might want to finish off the rest of your horrible vinyl mini dress. It looks like it's going spoil.

Note the hospital bracelet.

SOooo much win.
_______________________________________________


Oh ... oh yes.
Yes. Oh, Jesus yes.
Jesus Fucking Christ, YES!

I hope this one gets me in trouble.

So MUCH win.
_______________________________________________


Mmm, your handlebar mustache is so glorious maestro. I'm sure all of the ladies love having your large sweaty hairy chest hovering over them during love making. Even more so now that the hairy part has been man-scaped to look like a giant mustache. Or not...

I can feel your arteries clogging from here, not to mention the smug cloud of douchebaggery that must surround you for even thinking about growing something this heinous on your body and then having someone take a picture of it. But you want to know the worst thing about it all? It's not even complete! You should honestly work on that bald spot ... least we think of you as less of a man.

You pasty lard beast, you.

So much WIN!
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When people say that a picture is worth a thousand words, they are specifically referring to this picture. That being said, I will let the picture speak.







31 August 2009

Street Inspiration I


Some random imagaes that I have compliled from my various go to street fashion blogs and sites.

While I like the idea of broken china sewn into a glittery albeit stiff frock or a Christian Loubouton pump on someones head, I would much rather pull my inspiration from 'actual' people with realistic ideas of what is acceptable in 'actual' day to day fashion.

Street Inspiration I

I love the mustard yellow and contrasting grays in his sweater, the bow tie is a must. His hair, however, could use the benefits of a brush. (Face Hunter)

Her dress is ridiculous, and I love the contrast between the brightness of it and the black of the rest of her outfit. (Street Peeper)

The neutral all brown palette really speaks to me. I've always been a little bit scared of brown but that duster and those chucks make me want to try it. (Face Hunter)

Black on black ... on black. Some things will never change and luckily for me, my obsession with black isn't going anywhere soon. My typical mantra is the more matte the better, but I love the wet look of this ensemble. I wish I had been in H&M when they were selling shiny separates. (Street Peeper)

PS: I want his bowl cut.

Fierce, fierce, fierce.

The shoes could be better but it's the idea behind the outfit that I'm looking at. That little leather bolero/shrunken blazer is fuck-tastic and I'm in love with the jeans. (Street Peeper)



As you can probably tell ... I'm so ready for Autumn.

22 August 2009

Twilight Dildo

Yes, that's exactly what I said.

Have you ever wanted to be wrapped in the steely arms of a stalker vampire boyfriend while he penetrates you with his ice cold member? Well ladies and gentlemen, for the meager price of $39.99 you can experience at least one of these fantasies.

Tantus Inc. has finally released the dildo to out fuck all dildos ever to be created.

The Vamp.

With it's pale flesh color and ability to retain hot and cold temperatures, you'll never lust for any human man again.

Oh, and yes, it sparkles.



Pre-order yours today.

PS:

If you really want the full experience, then you'll also want to pick up one of these creepy Edward Cullen bedroom wall stickers complete with tousled hair and 'Be safe' text.

Now we can all be that crazy, clumsy, suicidal, and mildly schizophrenic girl.

Now ... is anyone else totally creeped out yet? Don't get me wrong, I like the Twilight series as much as the next freak but some of these girls are seriously out of control...

Exhibit A: Twilight Tattoos.

17 August 2009

Contramoda


The latest in fashion envy and inspiration.

CONTRAMODA





Love.

(More to see here!)

Oh, who wants to see Naomi Campbell's cooooooooch!? Yeah, me either. That's why I'm giving you the option to check it out for yourself ... you've been warned.

Courtesy of Fashion Indie

18 June 2009

Italian Greyhound

In February of 2007 I lost my precious Coco Renee, a miniature Dachshund. Me and my whole family have been through the grieving process as would any family who lost a pet. Nearly two and a half years have passed and I feel that it's time to move forward.


I want an Italian Greyhound. NOW!

06 May 2009

Mercury in Retrograde

Dun dun DUN!!



Starting May 7th and continuing on through May 31st, the planet Mercury will officially be in RETROGRADE!
*evil snarl*

In case you didn't know, Mercury in retrograde is an extra special bit of astrological nasty. It affects anything dealing with communication, transportation and education by ... well, I'll just give you an excerpt from my go to astrology website.

Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.

It is not excatly wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is likely that such decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed. Make sure you pay attention to the small print!


Typically, I am unaware of a bad retrograde period for myself, but I've definitely felt this one for a couple of days and now that I am reminded (thanks to Jennifer Worick) I shall take proper precautions.

In short, when Mercury goes into retrograde, I turn into an antisocial hermit due to my inability to deal with stress and miscommunication.

What can I say, it's my ruling planet.