Twilight Dildo

Yes, that's exactly what I said.

Have you ever wanted to be wrapped in the steely arms of a stalker vampire boyfriend while he penetrates you with his ice cold member? Well ladies and gentlemen, for the meager price of $39.99 you can experience at least one of these fantasies.

Tantus Inc. has finally released the dildo to out fuck all dildos ever to be created.

The Vamp.

With it's pale flesh color and ability to retain hot and cold temperatures, you'll never lust for any human man again.

Oh, and yes, it sparkles.



Pre-order yours today.

PS:

If you really want the full experience, then you'll also want to pick up one of these creepy Edward Cullen bedroom wall stickers complete with tousled hair and 'Be safe' text.

Now we can all be that crazy, clumsy, suicidal, and mildly schizophrenic girl.

Now ... is anyone else totally creeped out yet? Don't get me wrong, I like the Twilight series as much as the next freak but some of these girls are seriously out of control...

Exhibit A: Twilight Tattoos.

Pre -Sunrise

The world of twilight before the dawn is both beautiful and mystical, but most of all it is fleeting. No matter how much you hope and dream, it is impossible to live your life here.

Of course pictures never look the same as the real thing.

On Everyone's Mind

Robert Pattinson

At this very moment he is probably one of the top searched actors on Google.

Better known as Edward Cullen in the movie Twilight, now playing in theaters everywhere, Robert Pattinson has shot to 'stardom' due to the much anticipated release of the film based on Stephenie Meyers novel of the same name, which has a rather ... unique following.

A close friend and I like to refer to the majority of the fanatics as Sadomasochistic Lunatical Underdeveloped Teenage Skanks and Women Having Overly Ridiculous Estrogenic Seizures, SLUTS and WHORES.

Example

Slut

&

Whore

I, however, look forward to a most exciting prospect in our dear vampire friend's future. Robert Pattinson is 'going to have the gay sexy time'??? Well, maybe. I'm not sure on the details but I do know that he stars in the upcoming film Little Ashes about the alleged love affair between famous surrealist painter Salvador Dali and poet/theater director Federico Garcia Lorca.

Pattinson will be portraying Dali.

And because I need to get it out of my system right this very second, never to touch on it again, ever. Let's look at some pictures of Robert being absolutely adorable.




He looks like the cutest pothead ever.